Power Struggle with Your Toddler?

Tantrum & whining are the tools our toddler use to get thing to go their way. Can't really blame them coz they don't really know that they should use WORDs to express what they want, right?

However, these tools can also turn sour bila our kids learn that it can be a manipulative tools to control the parents. This is where the power struggle begin..The HORROR!! Anak saje nak test power tu.

Imagine this, tengah keluar jalan-jalan happy-happy satu family dengan anak tengah syok sengih-segih, suddenly anak amuk. Reason, dia nak jalan tak mau pegang tangan. Adus....naik darah kan? Sometimes kita tengah masak and dia tengah main elok-elok kat tepi, tiba amuk entah apa benda tak kena. Rupanye nak gendong or berkepit dengan kita. Selagi tak dapat apa nak, dia takkan hush. Then comes the battle tak nak makan real food, nak candy or snacks saje. Even there are bath time & tooth brushing battles. What to do?

Ye la, we know that "terrible twos" is just a phase. But nak tak nak, we need to set the limit, kan? Kalau kurang iman tu, rasanye mau senang setan cucuk-cucuk until naik darah kita sebab anak kan? Even studies shows that physical punishment & we use stern voice tak jalan sangat to some kids or some situations.

From my reading, I found that the key skill that we may need to develop is the ability to not react emotionally to her screaming, in this way not reinforcing it. Even some studies shows that babap or stern tone in reaction to kids ill behavior may cause the kid to be a bit violence bila besar (may cause tau, not will...coz studies also have shown, kids yg when thru such disiplin will be mature faster if we properly postively reinforce disipline on them too..so i guess different method works on different kids kan?).

It's about being smart in this power struggle. Its time for us to use our politician skills. It's putar belit time ladies!

Mommies, pick & choose your battle. Then offer options. But make sure the outcome will make our toddler feels as if she's being treated like an adult.

Example of battles:

1) Meal time

Wrong Question- Miya nak makan?

Right way to ask- Miya nak makan nasi sedap or yummy pasta? or Miya nak jadi hungry dinosor or hungry bear?

2) Bath time

Wrong Question- Miya nak mandi now?

Right way to ask- Miya nak mandi pastu pakai baju cantik yang mana satu? Pantz or Pretty Dress?

3) Stop Doing the Stuff that is a No-No

Wrong way to say- No! Jangan degil! Stop

Right way to handle- Jom main benda lain. Jom pegi cari monster. Jom watch tv

Just try do stuff yang boleh buat budak tu lupa on why dia nak tantrum in the 1st place.

Note to self and you mommies out there- Dont reward her for her ill behaviours. Nanti dia ingat, next time if I buat perangai, I'll get something that I want. (Kena ingatkan diri ni coz I selalu aje sedar tak sedar went for that rewarding method too...Aiyooo)

If you mommies out there ada tips & example to share on how to handle power stuggle ni, do share in my comment box. Boleh bagi idea kalo-kalo nanti I face similar situation later.